| Episode | Transcript | Gallery |
Mrs Thatcher takes some neighbourly advice over the privet hedge from the gentleman at No. 9, a Herr von Wilcox (who happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler), Bob Dylan sings a song about his stolen underpants, and Ronald Reagan features in the latest instalment of The President's Brain is Missing.
Sketches[]
| Picture | Sketch |
|---|---|
| ? | After a nine month absence from Parliament, Tony Benn triumphs at the Chesterfield by-election, only for him to be literally stabbed in the back. |
| ? | Series 1 Opening Theme |
| ? | Mary Whitehouse introduces the show to the audience, with the intent of making sure it doesn’t contain any ‘foul language, no blasphemous outrages, and no horrible pictures of big pink floppy things’. |
| ? | Sir Robin Day interviews Len Murray on his support for the units. |
| ? | Margaret Thatcher brings her Cabinet up to the Downing Street roof to sing “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder. |
| ? | Rubber Plane
Enoch Powell and Idi Amin talk about sanctions, while Mark Thatcher compares Robert Mugabe's government system to the way his mother's running the country. |
| ? | Sir Richard Attenborough will accept an award anywhere... even in the middle of a police investigation with Commissioner Kenneth Newman. |
| ? | Arthur Scargill talks to the miners about their poor treatment, but is found to not know the new mining slang. The miners he talked to are revealed to be the Cabinet in disguise. |
| ? | Robin Day asks Roy Hattersley if he thinks he's a bully, and when he says no, Day hits him over the head with a bowling ball. |
| ? | Herr Jeremy von Wilcox, Thatcher’s next door neighbour living in No. 9 Downing Street, gives her advice on how to deal with right-wingers in the Tory Party. |
| ? | Bob Dylan sings a protest song about underwear theft after his own underpants are stolen. |
| ? | Mary Whitehouse expresses her relief that the show has not imitated the Queen, only for it to do so in the very next sketch. |
| ? | The Queen takes a telephone call while an unseen Thatcher (carrying on from the previous episode) still waits to see her.
End of Part One |
| ? | Start of Part Two
The Reagans deal with an obscene phone call. |
| ? | Prince Philip consoles the Queen in regards to having to see Thatcher. Elizabeth tells him what he has to do after five minutes, and he wishes her good luck. |
| ? | Mary Whitehouse comments how the show has portrayed their relationship in a sweet way. |
| ? | Margaret Thatcher finally meets the Queen, who gets her to stand up and sit down repeatedly as a joke protocol. Thatcher criticises the expense of having a new Royal baby and bores her out with talking about the economy. Prince Philip, dressed as a messanger, interrupts the conservation with a call for Mrs. Thatcher from Mark Thatcher, prompting her to call for a taxi. |
| ? | Rubber PlaneArthur Scargill tells Ian MacGregor about the pits, prompting John McEnroe to tell him he is the pits, causing him to get smacked. David Steel asks Joan Collins about why she broke up her engagement. |
| ? | The President’s Brain is Missing
Ed Meese attempts to find Ronald Reagan's brain, and failing to find it due to its small size, he substitutes his missing brain with a walnut from Nancy’s bowl, thus preventing him from choosing Konstantin Chernenko as his running mate. Reagan chooses Bonzo instead, much to Meese's dismay. The actual brain is hidden in Nancy's bowl and escapes the White House. |
| ? | Rubber PlanePrince Andrew follows after Joan Collins, prompting the other passengers to look in suspicion. Paul McCartney asks Robert Mugabe if he wants to do a new album with him as he's black. Mugabe scoffs and calls him a scouse git. Len Murray tells Mark Thatcher that if he thinks his mother can buy off |
| ? | Kenneth Newman, in the audience, tries to get Lord Lucan to share his whereabouts during Question Time, but he refuses. Newman guesses that he's in South America |
| Richard Attenborough accepts another "award" - his pack of cigarettes. The annoyed waiter pours his ordered bowl of spaghetti on his head, which only causes him to talk even more. | |
| ? | The Question Time panel takes questions from... Robin Day, about the chairman making the panel look unimportant. |
| ? | Mary Whitehouse asks the viewers what they thought of the show's obscene parts and decides to keep those parts of the show to herself. |
| ? | Exchequers
Harold Macmillan, while Harold Wilson is snoring, starts the song... |
| ? | "Just A Prince Who Can't Say No", performed by Prince Andrew |
| ? | Nancy Reagan and Vice President Bonzo admire Ronnie as he shaves |
| ? | Credits |
| ? | Yuri Andropov and Leonid Brezhnev play harps in Soviet Heaven, which they admire for, most of all, having no Americans. |
Characters[]
Main[]
- Tony Benn (debut)
- Mary Whitehouse (debut)
- Robin Day (debut)
- Len Murray
- Leonid Brezhnev
- Kenneth Newman (debut)
- Margaret Thatcher
- Norman Fowler
- Norman Tebbit
- Michael Heseltine
- Geoffrey Howe
- Enoch Powell
- Idi Amin
- Mark Thatcher
- Robert Mugabe
- Richard Attenborough (debut)
- Arthur Scargill
- Roy Hattersley (debut)
- Adolf Hitler (debut)
- Ronald Reagan
- Nancy Reagan
- Bonzo
- Ian MacGregor (debut)
- John McEnroe
- David Steel
- Joan Collins
- Ed Meese
- Lord Lucan (debut)
- Harold Wilson
- Yoko Ono (debut)
- Indira Gandhi (debut)
- Alec Douglas-Home
- Prince Andrew (debut)
- Yuri Andropov (debut)
Background[]
- Rupert Murdoch (debut)
- Michael Foot
- Ruhollah Khomeini
- Pope John Paul II (debut)
- Ian Paisley
- Prince Charles (debut)
- Viktoria Brehzneva (debut)
- Muammar Gaddafi
- Fidel Castro
- François Mitterrand
- Neil Kinnock (debut)
- David Frost (debut)
- Andrew Lloyd Webber (debut)
- Idi Amin
- Paul McCartney
- Bernard Levin (debut)
- Denis Healey (debut)
Mentioned[]
- Mahatma Gandhi
- Princess Diana
- Princess Margaret