Part One[]
Geldof's Knighthood[]
Bob Geldof: Now I realise the real reason I didn’t get a knighthood. I didn’t own any fucking Westland shares.
Reagan’s Birthday[]
Thatcher Looks Into The Westland Affair[]
Charles Consults Andrew[]
Brian Walden Interviews Commissioner Newman[]
The Winter Tour[]
Kinnocks[]
Glenys Kinnock: No matter how much care you take in clearing round the toilet bowl, there’s always a few dirty little Militants lurking while you can’t get at them.
Derek Hatton: At the end of the day, taking all things into consideration, when we come for the [?], the Labour Party will-
Glenys: But now there’s a new way of dealing with those stubborn little lefties which cling to being round the bend. Yes, new Miracle Bald Kinnock. Takes care of the Militants other less bald leaders leave behind.
Narrator: New Miracle Bald Kinnock. Has no effect whatsoever except on Militants.
The Cabinet Meet[]
William Whitelaw: Well, [?], I have to admit that Kinnock is brilliant.
Norman Fowler: Terrific speaker.
Nigel Lawson: An organiser.
Douglas Hurd: Charming and delightful.
Norman Tebbit: Sound on the big issues.
Geoffrey Howe: Great with young people.
Harold Macmillan: And indeed old people.
Fowler: All round, good news for the Labour Party.
[The camera reveals they’re talking about Glenys.]
Tebbit: Good job her husband’s such a wally.
Lawson: Yes, that’s a good point.