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The Charity Song is a 1990 song performed by Spitting Image



Background[]

The song is a Children In Need Parody song and features puppets of Richard Branson, Esther Ransom, Bruce Forsyth, Cilla Black, Terry Wogan, Maxwell Carter, Bob Geldof, Bernard Manning, David Steel, John Major (in his original design), and Margaret Thatcher.

Lyrics[]

(Richard Branson)

If there’s some disaster

That’s where I will be

You can bet, that I’ll be

Setting up a charity

Even though I deeply loathe

The free publicity

If it’s all in a good cause,

That’s enough for me.

(Cilla Black, Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck, and other celebs)

It’s all for Charity, all for Charity

Let’s show the world we care

(Terry Wogan)

Every star gives a great big ‘ahhhhh’

For the one-eyed teddy bear

(All)

It’s all for charity, all for charity

We do what we can do

We get a real warm feeling

To know we're nicer than you

(Robert Maxwell)

I really hate false modesty

So I don’t even try it

‘Cause all the facts

Of my charitable acts are

So hard to keep quiet.

I’m a fan of ‘war on want’

In fact, I think I’ll buy it.

And so that we can feed the world

(Bob Geldof)

Put Maxwell on a diet

(All)

It’s all for charity, all for charity

These days it’s all the rage

Charity begins at home

And ends up on the front page

It’s all for charity, all for charity

We’re just so bloody nice

(Jimmy Savile)

Myself? I ask for no reward.

A knighthood should suffice

Hows about that? Hmm!

(Bernard Manning)

I’m a foul-mouthed bastard

But I love helping kids.

As long as they’re not

P*kis, j*ps, or w*gs, or m*cks or y*ds

Eh!

(Jimmy Tarbuck)

So please let’s save Great Ormond Street

From becoming a pile of rubble

Your money helps the kiddies

(John Major and the Tories)

And it gets us out of trouble!

(All)

It’s all for charity, all for charity

Let’s pat ourselves on the backs

It’s better to pay publicly

Than pay through high-earn tax

Charity charity

Charity charity

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