The Charity Song is a 1990 song performed by Spitting Image
Background[]
The song is a Children In Need Parody song and features puppets of Richard Branson, Esther Ransom, Bruce Forsyth, Cilla Black, Terry Wogan, Maxwell Carter, Bob Geldof, Bernard Manning, David Steel, John Major (in his original design), and Margaret Thatcher.
Lyrics[]
(Richard Branson)
If there’s some disaster
That’s where I will be
You can bet, that I’ll be
Setting up a charity
Even though I deeply loathe
The free publicity
If it’s all in a good cause,
That’s enough for me.
(Cilla Black, Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck, and other celebs)
It’s all for Charity, all for Charity
Let’s show the world we care
(Terry Wogan)
Every star gives a great big ‘ahhhhh’
For the one-eyed teddy bear
(All)
It’s all for charity, all for charity
We do what we can do
We get a real warm feeling
To know we're nicer than you
(Robert Maxwell)
I really hate false modesty
So I don’t even try it
‘Cause all the facts
Of my charitable acts are
So hard to keep quiet.
I’m a fan of ‘war on want’
In fact, I think I’ll buy it.
And so that we can feed the world
(Bob Geldof)
Put Maxwell on a diet
(All)
It’s all for charity, all for charity
These days it’s all the rage
Charity begins at home
And ends up on the front page
It’s all for charity, all for charity
We’re just so bloody nice
Myself? I ask for no reward.
A knighthood should suffice
Hows about that? Hmm!
(Bernard Manning)
I’m a foul-mouthed bastard
But I love helping kids.
As long as they’re not
P*kis, j*ps, or w*gs, or m*cks or y*ds
Eh!
(Jimmy Tarbuck)
So please let’s save Great Ormond Street
From becoming a pile of rubble
Your money helps the kiddies
(John Major and the Tories)
And it gets us out of trouble!
(All)
It’s all for charity, all for charity
Let’s pat ourselves on the backs
It’s better to pay publicly
Than pay through high-earn tax
Charity charity
Charity charity