We're Wets is a Spitting Image song parodying the Tory left-wingers who opposed Thatcher's policies (wets). It features the former cabinet ministers Francis Pym and James Prior.

Lyrics[edit | edit source]

(Backing singers)

Can you guess who they are?

We bet you haven't guessed so far


Shall we tell them?

(Pym and Prior)



Spitting Image - We're Wets

Spitting Image - We're Wets

We're wets, wets, wets

(Backing singers)

Swimming around underwater

Trying to avoid the grocer's daughter

Once in a while letting off a bit of back

(Pym and Prior)

And always getting our bottoms smacked

(Backing singers)

No matter how bad things get


We're wet, wet, wet


Me, I'm a wet and my name is Pym


Me, I'm a wet


But you won't have heard of him

(Pym and Prior)

Don't dare come out

And speak what we oughta

Just blow bubbles


No matter how bloody awful things get

Because we're wet, wet, wet

Once in a while

We stick up our hand

Point out that things are not going as planned

But we never risk our neck

We're only fishy fellows and we're scared as heck


We're just drifting around under water

Trying to avoid the grocer's daughter

We used to be in the leader's pack

Now we flip v-signs behind her back

Doing sod-all as the sun of England sets

Cos we're wet, wet, wets

We're wet, wet, wets

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The boat pushed By Denis Thatcher is named HMS Conqueror, a reference to the nuclear submarine of the same name which sank the General Belgrano during the Falklands War
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