The Pianist from "You Need Arms"

You Need Arms was song done by the Spitting Image team in 1991, and featured in Episode 5 of Series 10.

In a lot of ways, the song is quite similar too "Every Bomb You Make" or "We Ruined The World" in that it has a very serious message. It features a classically dressed and moustachioed puppet (who look similar to the Lord Lucan puppet) playing a piano and singing about armaments and the weapons industry.

Throughout the the song, the scene fades between the pianist puppet and the figure of Death singing the song, which subtly hints that both singers may be on and the same. This is further reinforced by the final shot, where Death is shown wearing the same straw hat as the pianist, which he tips to the audience before the shot fades to the Spitting Image Logo.

The song is sung by Roger Blake, who voiced most of Jon Glover's characters. 


You Need Arms-0

You Need Arms-0

Spitting Image S10 E05. Song begins at 21:20

You need arms to maintain your deterrent,
Lots of arms to keep peace with the Reds.
Without arms there'd be no 'arms reductions' –
That help us sleep soundly in our beds.

You need arms to help a mad dictator,
And to make damn sure there's no more Vietnam's.
And that's why you may be sure that we need the threat of war –
Otherwise there'd be no point in having arms!

You need arms to stop a war from starting, 
Even arms they say they'll never use. 
You need arms to make a tidy profit – 
Every 'cruise' pays for another winter cruise!

You need arms to sell to the highest bidder, 
Even if the hand that goes up is Saddam's. 
And though it may seem a crime, you need arms from time to time – 
To disarm those very people you sold arms!

You need arms for industry and exports, 
And a government to say that that's alright. 
You need arms to fight for what you believe in  – 
Though you'll never ever seem arms dealers fight!

You need arms to kill a newborn baby, 
Oh, and we'll supply them to you with no qualms. 
For the moral of all this is  – “arms will show that you mean business”  – 
And our business is to fill the world with arms!

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